Emotional Trauma from Adoption

adoption tears

Emotional trauma from adoption

Adoption is not easy. Both for the adoption parent(s) or the child.

Nowadays there are a lot of great guides, books & literature including groups and communities to help smooth the process and give you the emotional support both prior to the adoption and afterwards. A lot depends on the age of the adopted child.

Depending on the child’s background, what happened to the original birth parent(s) and home situation may already have damaged the child’s emotions and self esteem. The foetus picks up feelings from the mother even before birth. Whether mom was sick, sad, angry and frightened or happy, contented, healthy and loved.

Some kids are in the system due to conditions in their homes breaking down. Some women don’t make good mothers, some men get into trouble with the law, lose their jobs, panic at the prospect of becoming a parent and abandon mother and child. The mother is unable to cope. So the state gets the child. It’s very sad when that happens. Many kids especially the boys become unsettled and misbehave as a way of getting attention. This makes the problem worse, as they get kicked from school to school, home to home. When you adopt an older child, you need to be aware of their history.

Do you tell them or not?

There’s also the possibility that the birth mother regrets giving away her child and tries to make contact. Or the child feels that something is not right, finds out that they’re adopted and wants to find their birth mother. Do you tell them that they’re adopted? If you don’t tell them or too late or they find out later when their birth mother/parent is dead, they may be angry with you. They cannot have closure about that part of their lives.


Unhappy and bitter

I have a relative who was adopted. She said that her adopted mother was loving and kind to her. Yet she grew up with low self esteem and felt angry and bitter about her life. Not sure if her other siblings accepted her or mistreated her. She seemed to avoid talking about them when I asked. She became a very unhappy and unpleasant person to be with. Sad and angry inside but outwardly she’s critical and complaining. Many people try to avoid her as much as possible. I spent some time talking to her in the past but she didn’t respond. She even went to church. But nothing seemed to change.

Some people carry emotional scars from their childhood until they find a way to let go. If they ever do.

Understand why you want to do it and what’s involved

If you’re thinking of adopting, please make sure that you understand what’s involved. It requires a lot of strength, courage and maturity. Let alone money & resources to support the adopted child. Ask yourself why you want to do it. Can you cope if it goes wrong?

It may be a long hard road and not the idealised dream that you were expecting. Talk to other parents who have adopted and listen.

Learn from their mistakes to avoid making unnecessary ones. Have a support system to help you through the tough times.

God bless.



Hey, Life (like rockets) are Tricky!

Hey, Life (like rockets) are Tricky! LOL

Roll your eyes please!

Falcon 9 SpaceX

The headline today of SpaceX’s launch of Dragon 9 was “SpaceX booster landing test fails…” then it showed the rest when you click on it, “but rocket goes on successfully”.


Launching a rocket into space is risky business indeed, as Elon Musk found out last year when it failed and he tweeted, “Rockets are tricky.”

Things didn’t work out quite as SpaceX had expected per the report. “No cigar” reported Musk. Getting the first section of the rocket which is 14 stories tall back on the landing pad in the Atlantic Ocean is not easy. It landed too hard, so that’s why it was no cigar amigo! Maybe the ocean was not completely still, there were some waves. Who knows? Who can control the ocean? Apparently, not even Elon Musk with all his good intentions!

It worked in previous tests. But like share trading and starting with a demo account, everything works fine until you’re trading with your REAL money!

I say that getting Falcon 9 up to space and to ISS (International Space Station) is an incredible achievement, cigar or not!

Like life, rockets are tricky at best and trying to control something 14 stories tall is something to aim for, but OK if no cigar.

What are your goals for 2015?

Are you aiming for that Cigar?

If you don’t get it, but get something close, please do me a favour and celebrate OK?

Here’s a Cuban cigar to start you drooling! I’m just testing it for you. Just in case… LOL

Hey, Elon, get your own cigar! This is mine!

Cuban cigar



2015! Time to Start a Fire!

So it’s 2015 at last!

Make it count! How?

Stop hiding!

Playing small doesn’t help anyone, let alone yourself!

Fire worker

It’s time to let your light shine for all to see!

It’s time to start a fire in your soul, fan a flame and make it grow…

So there’s no doubt or denying!

Let it burn so brightly, that everyone around can see!

That’s it’s you, that it’s you, that we need!

Start a fire in me!

You are the fire! You are the flame!

You are the light in the darkest day…

Start a fire in your soul!

Only you can start the fire!



So what makes you light up inside? What do you love?

Do what you love

Live Long & Prosper!

Knowing where to mark the “X” Sweet Spot!

3 Choices in life

Knowing where to mark the “X” Sweet Spot!

OK, you’ve got a problem. It’s bad!

Your machine’s not working and your factory’s at a stand still! So you call in an engineer. He arrives and walks around the machine, listening to the sounds it’s making (or not making). He doesn’t say anything. He touches some levers and fiddles with something inside…

Then he marks a spot with an “X”. He turns around and pulls out a small tool from his tool box and taps lightly on the sweet spot.

The machine comes back to life with a happy sigh. You breathe a big sigh of relief!

The engineer pulls out his invoice book and writes quickly in it. He signs it with a flourish, tears out the invoice and hands it over to you.

“What! $10,000! For just an “X” and one tap? Please break down your bill in more detail!” you demand.

He takes the invoice back from you, writes on it and hands it back to you. You look at it and you roll your eyes! OK, I get it!

  • $1 for marking the spot “X”
  • $9,999 for knowing where to mark the spot “X”

You grin at him and he waves his hand at you with a smile too, a twinkle in his eyes before he leaves…

This is one of the stories about Nicola Tesla and Henry Ford. Unknown source but a great  story! It takes experience and training to find that Sweet Spot!


Knowing where is your `Sweet Spot’

Before I see a client for the first time, I give them their homework before they can start. It’s a list of questions… If they’re not prepared to do their homework, I refuse to work with them. It means they’re not committed 100% to getting their breakthrough.

During the 1st session, I spend about 2 hours with them. The first hour is going through the list of questions and discussing them together. This gives me a better idea of what is the problem and what kind of solution is required. The 2nd hour, we do some tapping and `tinkering’…

What you think is the problem may NOT be the problem at all.

That’s like knowing how to find the sweet spot and where to mark the “X” on it!

If you can find the main root of the problem/limiting belief and change this, then the other `minor’ roots are easier to change. If you’re a gardener, you’ll understand what I mean by weeds. You really have to find the roots and dig them out or else they’ll come back again quickly!

Like any Anti-Virus computer programs, you update them almost every day with new patches or upgrades. You do this so that you can use the best version to protect your computer.

Your mind is like a super computer and limiting beliefs are like viruses or old programs still running. When you decide to go up to the next level, these old programs will need to be upgraded to new improved versions.

  • Old program: Broke 401 >> Upgrade to Wealth 701.
  • Old program: Sick 455   >> Upgrade to Perfect Health 801.
  • Old program: Anger 535 >> Upgrade to Peace 789.
  • Old program: Unworthy 166 >> Upgrade to Confidence 811.
  • Old program: Unloveable 601 >> Upgrade to Absolutely Loveable 901!

You have a problem and you need a solution to get your life working or on track again.

So what’s this problem costing you? What do you want to change?

What do you want to save?

  • Your relationship?
  • Your health?
  • Your money situation?
  • Your job?
  • Your business?

We’ll work together until it’s done! 100% success!

We’ll give it all we’ve got!

a secret of change 2


7 areas of life

Please leave a comment either here or back on LinkedIn if you’ve heard this story before and have done some `tinkering’ of your own.

Contact me when you’re ready to change and to get some serious results!


Thanks for reading this!




Luna, like a child lost in a supermarket

Luna The Whale

Luna, like a child lost in a supermarket

This is the True Story of Luna, a killer whale [orca] who got lost from his pod and somehow ended up in Nootka Sound, Gold River, British Columbia. Luna was only about four years old at that time.

He was wandering up and down the aisles in a supermarket like a child, when suddenly he turned around and his family was gone! Gone!

This short 5 minutes video “A Whale of a Documentary” is on my Home page.

Journalist Michael Parfit went to check out the news reports about Luna and instead of taking just a few weeks to write his story, he ended up staying for three years to make this movie/documentary! Michael fell in love with Luna!

Narrated by Ryan Reynolds!

Luna was very lonely and wanted to find some new friends to play with him.

So he swam up and down Nootka Sound looking for people who would play with him.

People in boats, ships, on the pier, even the lumber yard. Anywhere he could find people as there were no other killer whales in the area! He was all alone!

The people loved Luna! Especially the kids! He was so playful and absolutely charming…

Then the scientists said it was not good that Luna was so friendly with humans. The Fisheries Department got involved and they tried to catch Luna

Watch this movie “The Whale” on Netflix to see what happened.  This movie will change your life! I’ve watched it at least twice now!

My pin of Luna has been shared 2,145 times on Pinterest! It’s my most popular pin for killer whales.