Get Back On The Horse

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horse with heart

Get Back On The Horse

How Self Sabotaging Behaviour Works

Let’s take looking for a new job for example. You may be in a job and you’re not happy. You want out. Or you’ve been out of work for a while. It hurts.

Please read my post on LinkedIn about how you can change your situation and take control of your life again.

http://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/20141012141239-11193281-unemployed-what-s-stopping-you

Some points from my LinkedIn post:

  • Things at work may have been difficult and you may have unconsciously asked to get out of your situation but you did not specify exactly how. Then you lost your job.
  • Everything happens for a reason. You’re a powerful creator.
  • If you don’t like what you’ve created, create something better.
  • Take 100% responsibility for your life and stop blaming other people. When you blame other people, you’re actually giving your power away.
  • It’s your life and only you can choose what happens next.
  • Like I can’t go to the gym and work out for you. You have to do it yourself.
  • Get closure on the ones that hurt the most.

Your mind is infinitely powerful but also mysterious because it works on both a conscious and unconscious level.

On an unconscious level, your mind works to protect you from pain and danger.

Amygdala: Fear – Fight or Flight

If you’ve had painful work experiences before,  you may have been asking the universe:

 “Get me out of this! I can’t stand this (pain) any longer!” 

So your mind will engineer situations to achieve just that! Notice I said `engineer’ because most of the time it does this on an unconscious level. Until you wake up from the trance.

This is called self sabotaging behavior.

Here, we’re talking about unemployment. You could apply this to other areas of your life like health or relationships.

If you’re still unemployed, the real reason why you’re unable to find another job may be because you don’t want more pain.

Talking to new people, putting yourself out there, is uncomfortable.  Your self esteem or confidence may be lower than usual. You’re afraid of rejection.

Also, there may be unconscious benefits to staying unemployed. What? That’s crazy you say! Hear me out please. Like, having more time to yourself. To do the things that you love that you normally wouldn’t have time for before. You get more time to spend with your kids. You may get more attention or sympathy from friends & family.

You may have done some of the things that I’ve written about, like improving your resume and going to networking events BUT you still haven’t got a new job.

So it’s not What you’re doing or even How but Why.

It’s up to you what you decide to do next. Get help or continue as you are now. Self awareness helps. Take a piece of paper and write down your life in terms of a time line. Then look for patterns. Circle them or re-draw them on a new sheet of paper.

Since you’ve created this situation yourself, you may find it hard to see a way out as we tend to be our own worst enemies. Another person who can give you an objective assessment and be there to listen to you and guide you through the process, could be just the breakthrough that you’ve been looking for.

If you could have solved this by yourself, you would have done it already. Right?

So if your situation hasn’t changed – something else needs to change. You. Change from the inside before your outer world can change.

Inner growth lily

What Are You Willing To Receive?

You must get to the stage when you’ll do WHATEVER it takes to change your situation for the better! By that time, you’re probably in a lot of pain, emotional and financial.  The sooner you decide to stop this, the sooner you can find new solutions.

Life has no remote

Your mind is the greatest computer in the world! But … and this is a Big But.

It cannot distinguish between what is real and what is not. It cannot tell the difference between a real event or something that you’re thinking about or made up.

Thousands of programs run on it, many on the unconscious level like breathing, swallowing, blinking, heart beating, sweating, etc. When you’ve got a Virus or Trojan horse infecting your computer, you’d take it to the computer shop to get it fixed right?

So when you’ve got limiting beliefs which are affecting your life and impacting your money, you’ll agree that a detox and tune up would be a good idea right?

There’s actually nothing wrong with you! You’ve just been using bad programming and the wrong strategies to get what you want.

Weeds In Your Garden?

Or if you’re into gardening, think of bad programming as weeds in your garden. They’re choking the life out of your other good plants.

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/05/13/weed-control_n_3267246.html

It’s your decision. To take action and change or to stay the same.

Doing nothing is costing you money now.

Take the first step and get help to get back on the horse.  Invest in yourself to get help to delete the bad programming and install new and better ones.

Going back to our computer example, you would uninstall programs that you don’t like because they’re taking up too much space on your hard drive. Having such unnecessary programs makes your computer run slower.

This works the same for our brains as well. How often do we examine our beliefs and points of view to see if they’re good for us or not?

What about your time out? If you feel uncomfortable with the word unemployment, why not reframe it as R&D?

Research & Development. Into what you’d really like to do with your life. 2017 is here! Are you willing to go with the Flow instead of resisting change? #2017Disruption

When people ask you what you’ve been doing, say that you’ve been doing some R&D. Look mysterious.  Say that it’s a Top Secret Project. Come on, you’ve got to have a laugh sometimes. Even at yourself.

 Get back on the horse. And oh, why not choose a nicer horse this time?

To connect with me on LinkedIn

Live Long and Prosper. Peace.

Ivonne Teoh